Paint Fumes

I’m pretty high right now, I think. 

My office is going through some renovations and I have been inhaling paint fumes all day.  I’m feeling kind of loopy and a bit aloof.

La la la….

Ugh

So here I am again, once again reflecting on my life and what I want to do with it. 

The job is going ok.  I’m learning a bit about legal contracts and working on financial projects, but the pace is so much slower than I was used to.  A recent change of events has thrown me for a loop.  The guy who hired me recently announced he was taking a leave of absence.  He was one of the main reasons I took the job, so I wasn’t too thrilled with that at all.  The new guy is all over the place with his ideas and projects, so learning how to manage him is a big challenge.  I’m already planning my exit.  It may be sooner than later.

My living situation is not changing as soon as I’d like.  The last two times I moved it was very easy.  Within a matter of days I found a new place I liked and moved right away.  This time, however, I’ve not been impressed with anything I’ve seen.  It’s been a month now and the search continues. 

I’ve been dating someone for a few months now.  I think it’s going ok.  He’s an Irish guy originally from Belfast and the weirdest thing happened the last couple of weekends.  He came to church with me one weekend when we had a guest pastor preach.  The preacher used an Irish joke about Belfast in his sermon.  It was just one of those weird moments where I knew it was a weird coincidence and wondered why, of all jokes and things he could have used to make his point, he mentions something close to my situation.  Then the following week my guy came with me to church again and this time when my pastor preached, in his sermon he talked about apartment hunting and really made a point about roommates and remembering how it was to share a bathroom in a house full of people.  Again, this was like another word for me, since a recent incident before this particular sermon consisted of me and a potential future roommate having a frustrating moment because finding a 2 bathroom place is a must have in our housing search.

I’m wondering what these coincidences mean to me.  I’m wondering if it’s meant to encourage me to hang tight and keep on trudging along, or whether He’s trying to tell me something else.  All I do know is that He’s here and that He’s with me.

I’m feeling disconnected these days.  I don’t know why I’m working where I do.  I’m not excited to get up and go to work everyday.  Where the heck is my passion and excitement for living?  What the heck are my passions?  I have no clue.

Apartment hunting is making me wonder why anyone in their right mind would want to stay in the bay area.  The cost of living is crazy and the people are even more crazy. 

My life is not flowing just yet.  It was for a while, but it seems to be falling apart in recent months.  I’m not sure how to fix it or how to change it.  I’m tired.  I’m just plain tired.  What does it mean when even a vacation isn’t enough to refresh my soul? 

What now?

Heart Talk

I have no idea what this new year will bring me.  I’m beginning it with a kinder, gentler, more purposeful and more optimistic perspective about life, about myself, and about the people around me and my role in the places I affect. 

I saw the previous quote on a t-shirt in a random shop I stopped into on new year’s eve.  It resonated with me and once again I wonder if it was really a random coincidence or whether it was God’s hand leading me to see something I needed to see, something that would stick with me to remind me this new year that I am an ever-evolving creature meant to grow in my character and to stay conscious that I am continually “becoming” perfectly made in His image.

The fears and the unknowns are still there, lurking about somewhere in the recesses of my mind, but I’m slowly learning to make peace with them.  I’m getting closer to finding my answers about life.  My own personal truths are still nebulous at best, but in the murky waters of those truths, the details seem more clear than I ever thought possible, and the path appears laid out before me.

Liberation Day!

Friday was my last day of work.  It was busier and more hectic than I thought it would be.  I was too busy training my replacement and wrapping up loose ends to really let the reality of the day sink in.  The day went by faster than expected until my manager called me later in the afternoon to wish me luck.  It was strange saying good-bye and I felt myself choke up a bit.  Who knew I’d be so sad when I was so ready to move on? 

On my drive to work I thought back to my early days.  I remember going to the interview not having any clue what the company did or what the job really entailed.  I had no idea back then that I would be here 6.5 years later, having gone through so many experiences there.

I’m Back

Hi Everyone!

I missed you all!  I just got back on Saturday after a wonderful, wonderful time in Eastern Europe!  I will post more about the trip when I have more time and after I’ve uploaded all of my pics to my computer.

But in a nutshell…

Budapest:  Nice, but ‘eh’.  Lots of graffiti and a bit dirty.

Vienna:  Saw an opera at the famed opera house.  Incredible!!

Prague:  Awesome.  Awesome.  Awesome.

I’m still unpacking from my trip and already tossing around ideas for my next one.  South America?  Africa? 

————————–

Regarding the job offer, I ended up getting 3 job offers (when it rains, it pours!).  Long story short, I asked for an extension on my decision date.  Midway through my vacation I accepted the job that I had originally posted about before:  the Project Manager position with the small company.  I gave my notice yesterday which was harder than I thought it would be.  Making the phone call to my manager was like preparing to rip off a bandage.  I hemmed and hawed and really began to reconsider my decision, then I just had to do it.  It was difficult, but I know in my heart I am ready to move on.

My official last day will be 27-Oct, but I’m hoping to be gone sooner if allowed.  I then requested with my new employer to begin work on 06-Nov which then gives me the last week of Oct. off.  I’m thinking of going to Chicago for a few days before I start my new job.

I went through my entire wardrobe and got rid of old clothes.  I’m ready to shop and reinvent myself at this new job!  Let the shopping spree begin! 

Yay!

Job Offer

Ok, so here’s the latest on the job search.

I went for an interview a couple of weeks for an administrative assistant position.  I wasn’t really thinking I’d take this job interview seriously since the pay range was a lot less than what I am making now as an analyst.  I hadn’t even heard of this company but I figured I’d test out my interview skills and just see what happens.

Well, long story short, both employer and employee were impressed with each other.  I was pretty sure I got the job after the first round of interviews with 3 members of senior management. 

My second round of interviews were with a few folks who would be my future peers, including the woman I’d be taking some responsibilities from.  At the end of the meeting I knew I was going to get an offer.  It was really just a matter of how much and when they would contact me.  They also discussed changing the title and scope of the job to better reflect the contributions I’d make.

All week I was anticipating a great offer.  I know what I’m worth and what I planned to learn and achieve in this position.  Today they called and gave me the offer.  They changed the title to Project Manager to reflect more of my skill set which I thought was cool.  I was kind of insulted by the base pay, ‘tho.  It was a lot lower than I expected to be paid and told them so.  They countered and bumped it up by 5K.  I was still not happy with the compensation.

So I’m in a quandary.  Here’s the list of pros and cons.  I need your input/words of wisdom/sage advice.  What would you consider and how would you evaluate the offer?

- 35K employees to 50 people

- 10% pay increase, but still low on the salary range for a person with my skill set/years of experience in the bay area

- Project Manager title versus Analyst title.  Does the PM title sound more presitigous?  Do you think it would open more doors for me later on?

- 10 minute commute to 40+ minute commute

- Flex time/work from home to 5 days in the office (flex time in my current position also means round-the-clock work is expected some days; 9-5 would be a welcome change)

- Reporting to Senior VP (two degrees from C.E.O), vs. a cog in the wheel, Dilbert cubicle

- I get stock options, but those are a gamble since they may go underwater at any time (doubtful as this company’s financials seem ok)

- Solid managers (or at least that was my impression) that I think I’d learn a lot from

- 5 weeks of vacation to 2 weeks of vacation (non-negotiable, I tried to negotiate that already)

- No more private office, back to cube-land

- Catered lunch each Friday (heard the company just took everyone out on a cruise and presented them with new Ipods)

- Much more visibility and opportunity to make an immediate impact

- Opportunity to learn about all aspects of a small company, vs. being stuck in a role in a big company

- Tight-knit group of people vs. a number on a badge

- Growing industry, different industry than I currently work in

Oh, and I must add…this coincides with my latest incident with my current boss over my vacation next week.  Long story short:  I’m bringing my laptop with me to work while I’m in Europe!  Argh!!  I was so pissed and was ready to quit during that discussion.  If the base pay was higher on this job offer I think I’d jump on it because everything else seemed good.  But, I’m now having trouble considering it because I really do think I’m worth more than they offerred.  I didn’t think I was all about the money, but maybe I am. 

*sigh*

I dunno…there are a lot of pros and cons I’m thinking about.  Too many to list and too complicated to explain.  SO, just let me know what your years of wisdom have told you about work/life/commuting/perspective/balance/risk/etc.  I could really use your help in making this decision.

I need to give them my reply by 9/26.

Thanks, y’all!

Run RM Run!

Well, folks.  I’m super busy.  I am in the middle of quarter end at work and haven’t really had a chance to breathe. 

I’ve spent the last two nights with MN and NE planning our European adventure trip.  It’s a lot of work ironing out all the details!  There are hotel confirmations to be made, rental car bookings, train schedules to figure out, geography and sites to pick out, and the craziest part of it all is getting concensus among the 3 of us gals.  Most of the details are figured out for Prague and these small towns called Czesky Krumlov and Brno.  We still need to figure out our Budapest and Vienna hotels.  I’m super excited about our decision to add Vienna to our plans! 

I haven’t even had a chance to get in any maintenance runs before the big event on Sunday.  Oh, well…I figure there’s a tradeoff and I’m not going to stress over it at this point.  I’m so busy that I decided to forego my flight out to Anaheim on Thursday evening and will drive out on Friday afternoon instead.  My co-worker was already planning to drive so I am just going to tag along.  Wish me luck, and thanks for all the well-wishes!

Hmm….too many other things going on.  For now, I am surviving on 4 or 5 hours of sleep and just stressed beyond belief and haven’t slept too well lately.  I’ll explain more about this later too.

Be well!

Frazzled

This day sucked a**.

Not just this day but every day since I got reorg’d into this new group. 

That’s a lot of days. 145 days to be exact, but I’m not counting.  I’m not counting at all. 

Hmmph.

I’m ready to quit my f’ing job.

I feel beat up and pushed around, not listened to or cared about. 

One Of Those Days…!

I just reread an email I sent off to a counterpart. Is this english??? LOL!!

“I left you a vm, but please call if there you more clarification.”

See what happens when you are working until 3AM, then in the office again at 7AM?

Not An Early Bird

It was one of those days.

Today I had a 1/2 day planning session to map out our goals and objectives for our group this year.  I was up at 5AM to get into the office by 7AM because of this meeting.

5AM!!! 

That just ain’t right.  How do you people get up when it’s still dark outside?