Commander in Queef

April 14, 2007 at 8:56 pm 141 comments

Oy, vey!  I can just imagine how many site hits I’ll be getting with this post! 

This is a warning to you men out there.

Girl talk to follow…!

Is it just me or do some of you women out there have a problem with air being released from your vagina?  This is something that’s begun to happen to me in recent years, especially during the week or so before my period.  I’m not talking about a soft, swift, silent release of air.  I’m talking about loud and obnoixious noises that sound like ducks quacking the preamble to one another. 

It’s unlike anything being released from my ass.  At least with ass farts I can clench the butt muscles and stifle an ominous fart.  Having mastered the first part of silencing ass farts with clenching the butt muscles, I have yet to figure out part two:  how to  prevent them from them from smelling nauseating.

But ass farts are another post for anther day.  Now, back to my original musings today:  vaginal flatulence, aka “queef”, “pussy fart”, “fanny fart” to the British and Australians, “chinara” to the Japanese, and “kutscheet” to the Dutch.  You can read all about it here.

I went online and had hoped Oprah, with her “tell-it-like-it-is” Dr. Mehmet Oz, would have honest, straightforward answers about these things.  If you haven’t seen her show on poop, then you really haven’t made friends with your bathroom habits at all.  I figured of all people, Oprah would have an answer for me but I guess the fact that her show on embarrassing health questions didn’t even touch on this topic really proved that even vaginal flatulence is too personal to discuss.

I did mention this to my gynecologist once a few years back when it used to happen on occasion.  She didn’t know much about it, but then again maybe it was because I had use the term “queef” and not the more basic statement of “THERE ARE LOUD NOISES COMING OUT OF MY VAGINA” to her.  My “occasional condition” now seems to be happening much more frequently.  Dealing with it seems to be taking over my life.  It SO sucks to be a woman!    

Anyway, thank goodness for the world wide web.  With a few keywords I was off and learning all about “air being released from the vagina”.  Geez, how many times will I type that word in this post?  Can there be a more phonetically crass-sounding word in the english vocabulary?

Most of the stuff I read said it’s usually caused by air being forced and trapped into the vagina, usually as a result of intercourse.  Ok, so I think most women have experienced that and usually it’s a good laugh, but that’s when you’re naked and enjoying yourself with your yummy hunny of the night.  For me, all I do is stand up and there goes the noise.  If I cross my leg while I’m sitting in a chair, or if I shift my weight while I’m standing, there it goes.  QUUUAAACCCKK!!!  And, unfortunately, good ‘old “Beano” only works for ass farts.  BTW, I get no gratuities for saying this, but that stuff works really well and I love their old slogan, “Beano before.  Quiet after.”  LOL.  Gotta love it just for that catch phrase.

The other common cause for this is post child-birth.  I guess after having your body stretched and changed from carrying a child, your uterus/body can be reshaped and air can commonly get trapped in there due to the physical changes that happened.  I’m guessing that with “old age” my body is just reshaping itself and for whatever reason it’s decided to give me this the joy of this embarrassing condition to deal with.  Example of a mega embarrassing moment:  Yes, today I gave out a long and loud vaginal fart during church.  I about died with embarrassment because it’s one of those things that if you move or try to stifle it, it just causes it to be louder or more obvious.  So I just had to stand there and let my face burn red with embarrassment.  I just wanted to scream, “It’s my vagina!  It’s not my fault!  It has a mind of it’s own right now!  It doesn’t count since it’s not an ass fart!  I can’t help farting out loud!”  I was really trying hard to mentally disassociate myself with my farting vagina.  *sigh*  Guess which service I’ll be avoiding for a while now?  😛

Everything I read said I can’t do much to reduce the air getting in there, except maybe Kegel exercises.  The articles also said much can’t be done to control or prevent the sounds that comes out, except maybe using a tampon.

Anyone out there have your own battle with this?  Any tips on how to prevent it?  It’s rather embarrassing having this happen at the office or elsewhere.

It sucks having to deal with the monthly curse.  This certainly doesn’t help that at all.

Thanks for reading,
RM (who is not sure whether this was a rant or a rave or just a rambling on this fact of life)


Number of times “vagina” or “vaginal” was typed in this post, including this sentence:  12


Entry filed under: Just Weird, Uncategorized.

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141 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Vince  |  April 16, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    Sorry, the Wife’s vagina is very quiet, I know, I’ve been down there enough.

    Sorry I got no advice for you.

  • 2. Satandit  |  April 17, 2007 at 2:03 am

    ~~Oye lady…the during ‘intercourse’ vaginal fart – i understand, but the rest….I am as puzzled as you, and as sufferring….
    When you learn, please do post it on this blog, so I can unravel this mystery~~~

  • 3. sara  |  April 17, 2007 at 8:44 pm

    yeah, that happens to me too, esspecially durring yoga…. Just puting a tampon in saves much embarassment. I wish more people talked about this.

  • 4. ramblingmuse  |  April 17, 2007 at 11:50 pm

    Vince – TMI, mister! 😛

    Satandit – You know as much as I do.

    Sara – In all my research I found that yoga and sex are the two most common activities where this happens. Interesting, huh? You’d be surprised how few people actually know about vaginal farts. Maybe it’s not that common or just doesn’t happen on a regular basis for most people. Or, maybe not everyone is really having sex or doing yoga. LOL!

  • 5. Philip  |  June 2, 2007 at 10:18 am

    I gave up after reading the first few lines of the 4th paragraph 🙂

    I didn’t realise you ladies had such problems – LOL


  • 6. Anya  |  June 18, 2007 at 1:00 am

    lol. from the research that i have done, its normal. as she said its just air getting trapped in your vagina. best way to reduce it is either certain positions or telling your partner ahead of time not to make such long deep thrust. even though that feels the best! the most position this happens is “doggy style” your hips are higher then the rest of your body which lets more air in. another thing is that the bigger the penis..your probably going to have a very good chance that your going to “queef”. air gets trapped behind the head and once he pulls out..the air escapes. its a normal thing that happens to most women. hey…air goes has to come out. all you can do about it is either say “excuse me” or just laugh about it. theres nothing you can do. and if your partner gets disgusted..he isnt worth your time. as i said before. its normal for this to occur. many many doctors have posted articles about this subject….since not a lot of people like to talk about it. anyway…thats all i know. 😛

  • 7. Anya  |  June 18, 2007 at 1:02 am

    Oh..another thing to prevent it is, when your laying down on the bed. prush down so the air that is currently in there..escapes. it will help this from happening!

  • 8. Jennifer  |  July 7, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    I understand how you feel! I am 22 years old and I have never had a problem with until I had my son. I would wrestle with a friend and ooops there goes one… Loud!
    I am now in a relationship… I have known the guy for 8 years and he is the knight in shinging armor you always dreamt about. We have been dating for amost a year now, and I cannot have sex with him, for the fear of having my vagina make very loud fart noise… I don’t think it would bother him too much… but all the time. I think it would get to him after a while. No matter what you don’t want to hear that and especially do not want your guy hearing that. It is a mood killer for me.
    How do guys really feel about that?!? I need a brutally honest answer? And how do I get over it and actually enjoy sex again, and with this great man that I have? In need please help!!

    • 9. rose  |  March 17, 2011 at 1:59 pm

      i am going through same thing… first time in my life had the queef 2 month ago…i am not happy about it…never had i experience before…now it made me so scared to have sex with my partner..i am avoiding sex…so effected physcological…evrytime he just touch me…my mind just thinking i am gonna get embarresed when having sex…pls HELP!! I NEED HELP to overcome this fear?how can i ever enjoy sex?never heard about pussy fart until happened to me.

  • 10. Kim  |  July 26, 2007 at 11:15 pm

    I started having this problem after my second child. It happens during Yoga and sex. My hubby laughs – once I explained what it was. He knows it’s not gross. In Yoga, it happens if I do “Plow” with my feet over my head. So instead, I just do “Bridge”.

    I would just tell your guy what it is, and that it’s very common. We just pretty much ignore it now when it happens.

  • 11. AnferTuto  |  July 28, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Hola faretaste

  • 12. fizz  |  September 13, 2007 at 2:47 pm

    haha. i enjoyed reading this. i was just in the bed with my “yummy hunny” and i just kept on queefin. we laughed our butts off but then it got really annoying cuz it just wouldnt freakin stop so we just ended the sex. hey. it was good anyway. but seriously. ive been on the web fer like 10 minutes now trying to find a cure. its so lame to try and be intimate when we hear a loud and gross fat comin out of my vagg. jeeez. WHEN WILL IT STOP? im on my period. so maybe thats it but this is definitely not the first time it happened. so all you ladies out there who queef….enjoy yourself. get a good laugh. cuz im pretty sure thats all you can do.

  • 13. Rubi  |  October 15, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    Why the hell r we women cursed with everything!?im only 18 and i have this problem!my last boyfriend and i were together 4 about 2 and a half years and i didnt start having this problem until toward the end of the second year we were together.he didnt mind he said it was normal but i cant stand the embarresment again!im thinking of just never having sex again and just dying alone!

  • 14. Liz  |  October 24, 2007 at 6:03 am

    Wow This is a great discussion! I have just joined yoga and have this horribly embarrassing problem which makes me not want to go back. I thought about the tampon thing though – I see someone else has had sucess with it, so I’m gonna try that too. Sigh.

  • 15. Amanda  |  November 11, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    I have had this problem with my boyfriend also. We have been together for about a year now, and he is the first person I have had sex with and have had any ‘experience’ with.I am the first person that he has had sex with also. Recently, within these past 2 weeks on weekends we have had sex. Only twice, and each time I have had this same problem. The first time I didn’t know what was going on and he laughed at me! I didn’t understand and he said did you fart? I said no it was something else, and he just laughed and went on doing his thing. This totally ruined the moment for me, and I was so embarrassed. My first time having sex and this happened. SOO embarrassing. Afterwards, he told me that it was normal and that it’s okay. He said he’s not worried or grossed out about it, so that made me a little more comfortable. Sometimes, you just have to discuss it and like up top if he is bothered by it, he’s not worth it!

  • 16. shelbie  |  November 27, 2007 at 8:43 pm

    ladies.. i feel ya! it’s quite embarassing.. but what can you do? i like to think of it as a burp after an excellant meal.. complements to the chef! haha but any guy worth your time would just laugh it off. so dont compromise what could be exallent sex by worrying about a sentless noise that most guys think is funny.. so dont sweat it.
    happy humping

    • 17. Bscott  |  October 1, 2012 at 5:50 pm

      U are hilarious!!!!! I am in tears trying to type this!! Soooo true!! Compliments to the chef!!

  • 18. Marine  |  January 4, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    I’m a 16 year old girl and have had sex 4 times with my boyfriend. The 4th time was the first time I had a vagina fart during sex. Before that, I had it happen to me during PE class while doing curl ups :s sooo embarassing. But anyways, I think it really has nothing to do with post-birth or anything. Maybe something about genetics and such… Anyways I’m glad I was comfortable with my boyfriend –we just laughed and it made sex funnier :]

    I enjoyed your article :]
    Hope you fix your problem (if you have tips help me too plz!)


  • 19. justin  |  February 19, 2008 at 1:42 am

    Me and all my friends LOVE it when a girl queefs expecialy during sex its a major turn on. the louder the better! Im a guy and let me tell you I would rather my girl queef then not.

    most guys are just too embarised to talk about it

    if the noise endangeres you getting “discovered” then you shouldnt be having sex. If noise isnt a problem do it loud its crazy sexy

  • 20. Jacqueline  |  May 18, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    So, vf during sex, no big deal. We laugh it off or ignore it… VFs during yoga, well, a bit more embarrassing, especially because it’s often rather quiet, and they can be rather loud. I remember my nana as a child “farting” when she’d get up and down or sometimes just walking. No one ever said anything. I know NOW what they were, so maybe there is something to genetics, though I’ve only really had the problem since my second child.

    So, I did speak to my doctor about them, she said losing 20 lbs should help, which I have, almost, and they don’t happen quite as frequently in yoga, but they do still occur. I just finished reading some discussions about them on the yoga site, and they are more common than I thought, and especially during certain moves, the same ones during which I experience them. So, c’est la vie femme! If I’ve coined that correctly.

    Oh, in yoga, I just relax and keep focused. No sense freakin’ out about it.


    • 21. Mely  |  November 19, 2011 at 3:00 pm

      I have lost over 100 lbs and I tell you they get worse the less I weigh. It is soooo embarrassing.

      • 22. AngelLasha88  |  September 13, 2016 at 6:12 am

        I know this thread is old, but yes! I am having the same problem. I have lost almost 100 pounds and the queefing is awful. Has yours gotten better?

  • 23. amyamyamy  |  July 7, 2008 at 10:29 am

    “My first time having sex and this happened.”-Amanda

    same here. my first time was last week.. and it happened. i was a little high so i didn’t get that embarrassed. hah.. but still. it kinda killed the mood for me at first. but he was like “it’s okay” and kept at it.. so i felt a little better………until i remembered the next day. >.<

  • 24. Stephanie  |  July 14, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    Oh gosh girl! I’ve never laughed so much in my entire life! I know exactly what you’re talking about. Sometimes I queef during sex, and let me tell you, it’s such a moment-wrecker (at least from my point of view). To all you girls who think Kiegels will stop the queaves, think again. I do Kiegels multiple times everyday, and I still queef. I agree that the best thing to do is laugh it off and get on with your day. Hey, if guys can get away with loud, stinky ass farts, we girls should be able to queef every once in a while. :]

  • 25. Tash  |  July 15, 2008 at 5:06 am

    Ohhhh I have been searching the web for HOURS trying to find a solution to this! Its happened to me twice and Ive only had the one partner a while ago.. and on my first time too.. 😦
    But now I have a new man and i have to say Im scared come the day we get down to it..

    I hope there is a way to at least prevent it a little…

    Ive read Kegal helps and not coming all the way back out after a thrust… I sure hope that works.. lol

  • 26. Aristokkitty  |  August 2, 2008 at 12:02 am

    Ummmmmm, Jacqueline –

    I just thought I’d tell you, your DOC is full of it.. losing weight should help? ROFL…. it happens to me all of the time w/ my b/f.
    And I weigh approx. 110 lbs. – 115 lbs. (sopping wet) – course, I’ve had 5 babies…. so, go figure! I think the kid thing may have a great deal to do with it, or maybe genetics!


    And…. if you can’t beat them…. just join them! Enjoy it, laugh about it, ’cause we can’t certainly stop it. Explain to your b/f’s/lovers/husbands out there what it is… if they can’t live with it, then they aren’t worth having…. caring/considerate guys will understand…. and love you even with it! 😉

  • 27. ONLYJACKEE  |  August 3, 2008 at 5:55 am



    • 28. Lexa  |  February 13, 2013 at 1:02 pm

      This is exactly what happens to me! I’m 26, no babies, losing weight, sadly no regular yummy hubby but still all of a sudden having major queefing attacks immediately when I wake up each morning. Then nothing all day.

      Maybe I yoga in my sleep?! Being a woman is ridiculous sometimes.

    • 29. Marta  |  January 20, 2015 at 9:00 pm

      omg, it happens to me too in the morning! I thought I was the only person in the world.

    • 30. MorningGlory  |  August 11, 2015 at 8:49 am

      Yep, I’m a morning queefer, too! I actually don’t have the problem any more than 30-40% of the time during sex, but mornings? Every single one! And it seems like the air takes a while to work it’s way out; I’ll have multiple queefs – even trying to push all the air out to get it over with – before it’s all finished. Such fun (not).

  • 31. Sadness  |  August 16, 2008 at 8:43 am

    I have been with my husband 22 years. He has been the only one for me, very satisfying. This used to only happen from behind, but now when I am in missionary, it happens. It started after my last period, and when he shaved around the base of his penis. Since it happened kind of suddenly, he assumes I have been with someone else. Of course, he always wants to assume that… however, that is not the case. Has anyone else experienced an accusation after they began making noise? Is it just because I am getting older, or the combination of him not becoming fully “into it” and my gaining weight? He really hurts my feelings.

    • 32. hopingtotryyogasoon  |  November 14, 2013 at 10:13 pm

      Your husband is an insensitive a$%. This just happens to women sometimes. Started happening to me after I had my son. I realize that this is an old post, but I just couldn’t not comment on this post. He’s just looking for an excuse to say that you have been unfaithful for some reason.

  • 33. Dominic  |  August 27, 2008 at 9:30 pm

    To surcease any perpetuating fears I feel that I should add to this. I do apologise, but I am not a female at all. I am 22 years old and have had several experiences with this “problem”. First of all, I think that it is laughable that a “queef” could cause tension in a sexual relationship. As a man, if you will, I don’t find the queef to be nearly as disgusting as some of you would make it seem. Yes, it happens, and yes it sounds somewhat like a fart, but if you are serious enough with someone, and they you, a matter of air decompression is nothing. Like some have posted, in my encounters with queefing, I have always been able to laugh it off, sometimes reassuring my partner that it is not something to cause worry. If a man can’t live with a sound (that’s all it is, not a smell nor taste, beg your pardon) then the issue of embarassment should be soley on him. Do not think that it is your fault for causing tension. If it is an overwhelming disturbance then maybe the man, not trying to cast stones or give definitive relationship advice, is the problem.

    • 34. Piper  |  April 25, 2015 at 11:12 am

      I’ve been waiting for a man to post on this to reassure. Whenever it’s happened to me, the guy always just laughs it off or pretends like he didn’t hear it. No guy has ever said that it was gross. Guys in general seem much more okay with noises than women. I also think that women feel they have to measure up to “perfect” women like in porn or movies that this would never happen to (and not saying there isn’t pressure on guys because there definitely is), but guys seem much more relaxed and enjoy sexy more. Which I think that has to do with the fact that they are less worried about every single thing like does this angle make me look fat, did I just make a ridiculous face, did I just queef, and he just enjoys the action. Guys have farted during sex, usually while experiencing an orgasm, and he just laughs, not a big deal. Things happen while having sex and people, women especially, need to understand that your partner won’t really care. Obviously, guys are happy having sex, and they aren’t shallow enough to let an unpleasant noise stop the fun. And I think most guys are smart and value their life enough to not say anything mean. So thank you sir in saying this comment. It is appreciated.

  • 35. Lindsey  |  September 2, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    Yeah, it happened to me for the first time in yoga yesterday. Probably one of the most embarrassing things that have happened to me in the last YEAR. My yoga teacher actually Coughed to cover it up for me. Your article made me laugh! Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.

  • 36. Addison  |  September 11, 2008 at 12:08 am

    It happened to me in yoga. The room was full and quiet. Then I queefed. It was so loud I thought I was going to die. I never went back which is sad because I love yoga. I will give it another try by using a tampon to see if that helps but if it happens again, I’m out for good. I can’t go through that embarrassment again. :::crosses fingers:::

  • 37. dude  |  September 16, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    as a dude, it does kind of gross me out, but i recognize that the ladies can’t help it, so there is no point fretting about it. away we go.

  • 38. Michael  |  September 29, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    I personally love the queef! It makes me feel like I did a good job. Long live the queef!

  • 39. Allison  |  October 3, 2008 at 10:57 pm

    OMG I totally hear you there, I have a 2 year old and I remember this happening with my daughter’s dad… it was soooo embarassing. I used to think maybe its because I had my fair share of guys and after I left him I went 2 years without any sex at all, thought maybe I wouldn’t have to worry about it again. Well I now have this great b/f, we finally decided to go ahead and have sex tonight and it happens after we get done doing it “doggy style”. As if that wasn’t bad enough he was having a hard time finishing… talk about making your girl feel like SHIT!

  • 40. Sunshine  |  October 19, 2008 at 1:19 am

    Haha I know the problem but I only get it when Im with a guys with a larger package anything smaller it dosnt happen. The first time it happened though i got really still and thought what the hell just happened? Did I break something down there? Then my guy got a big grin on his face and looked quite proud of himself and stepped it up a knotch and kick my vag into queefing mode. So I guess some guys take it as a compliment like its some kinda little reward. Althought the next morning was hell when i was sitting at the breakfast table with my mother,her boyfriend, grandmother and 2 year old brother and i let out the loudest queef and my brother pointed at me and said ‘loud fart!!’ ;-; i thought i was gonna die, my mom knew exactly what it was and told everyone.

    ^_^ but over all i say long live the queef and all its moments.

  • 41. ania  |  October 21, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    Im upset since i loved yoga and ve done it everyday for 3 months and then it happed so laud that i runned away from class and never got back 2 years back now it doesn’t happen to me beside that or sex but sex i don’t mind that much since its not too often and i feel like guys do understand. But yoga class is so quiet and its just very embarassing. Did anyone tryied tampon does it really help ?? do exircises kogel or what ever those are called help ?

  • 42. kiki  |  December 20, 2008 at 2:33 am

    I haven’t even had sex. I am a virgin. My vagina still “quacks” all the time. Its awful! I can’t help it. What in the world!

  • 43. amanda  |  January 5, 2009 at 2:53 am

    okay, well wow, im kind of young for this post, but here it goes anyways.
    well im mucho young and my boyfriend is a couple years older than me.
    ive had more experience then he has and we have just started getting “intimate”.
    we were doing it “doggy” the other night, and i sat up and of course “queefed’. thats what this whole article is about.
    he said it was disgusting and started laughing at me..and not even fifteen minutes after that, had left.
    i really need to find a way to prevent one of these happening again. it really seems to turn him off, but all i have to do is a little ass shaking to get him back up.
    please help me? :3

  • 44. sitonmyfacebook  |  April 5, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    Did you see South Park?

  • 45. lady  |  June 24, 2009 at 10:21 am

    So I am not alone…Although I certainly felt that way yesterday at yoga when up into a headstand I went and out came a lovely trumpeting queef. To add to my inverted embarassment, the teacher had just walked up to help me steady – so there’s no denying she and several others in the room heard. And there I am, standing on my head thinking, great. Now I can never come back here and we still have a half hour to go. But i also wanted to inform everyone I AM NOT EMBARASSED, I SWEAR! This is a natural thing! Just because I’ve never heard ANYONE else do that it doesn’t mean it never happens! Ugh but you can’t really just shout to everyone in yoga so I didn’t inform them of my lack of embarassment. Instead I hung my head, darted out of class as soon as it was over, and hit the internet as soon as I got home to find a cure.
    Damn you, natural-release-of-air-from-vag, damn you, gravity, damn it happening more often a week before one’s period, and damn you every guy that never has to worry about this. Because, let me tell you as lame as it is during a quiet yoga class, its uber-lame during sex, it happened to me once and I’ll never forget trying to explain to my less-experienced, but very turned-off looking partner this just happens sometimes…could we pretend it’s sexy?
    as to a cure – ive heard kiegals, a light diet of fruit and yogurt, a tampon, and well…not having sex? fruit, okay, abstinence? never. Therefore, since I can’t go back and tell my yoga class I’m okay with it, I’ll just tell all of you, power in numbers right?

  • 46. laughing  |  June 25, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    The lady with the big morning queef- SOO funny, walking all the way to the bathroom queefing. I wonder why it ‘develops’ at night?
    To the lady with the husband who is accusing her of cheating because of a sudden increase in vagina noises- it sounds like he is too insecure (and immature for that matter) to even be making love to you… if youve been faithful 22 years and all it takes is a fart to make him suspicious? really???
    AND to the girl with the boyfriend who was grossed out and left… what a loser he must be!!! He sounds selfish and MEAN.
    As for my own experience.. it happens during sex sometimes. In doggy mostly, or when we’re going from one position to another after some rough thrusting. I HATE if it happens when I’m on top because… its just different ha ha. One time (during doggy) it was like I felt a big rush of wind go in… and I thought oohhh no that has to come out. I dont remember what happened but I know I thought about it way too much! Usually though I’ll just giggle and move on.

  • 47. ally91  |  July 14, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    it makes me so depressed to hear theres no cure for it !
    i am 16 and just only started having sex with my boyfriend and at first it wasnt a problem at all
    only the last couple of times we had sex it started happening durring and especially after we did it. and it wont stop
    i dont understand how it can all of a sudden start to happen?
    and before this happened to me i had never even heard about it and so far have failed to find any professional article about it !
    its really embarassing, even with my boyfriend, and i keep reading ‘if he doesnt know what it is or understand he’s not worth your time’ but its a little different in a ‘teenage relationship’ !
    i feel like i never want to have sex again

  • 48. ally91  |  July 14, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    and also, i just got my period, maybe that could be the reason?
    but still it makes no sense.

  • 49. Ava  |  August 24, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    This is sooo funny. I just walked out of my yoga class–halfway thru–because of a series of loud and embarrassing queefs. I can never show my face in that facility again. It was a full class, I was in the middle of the room, and the music was low. Perfect. Not only did it happen once…but it was like a trail of loud queefs. I just got up, rolled up my mat, and very calmy (and with some shred of the dignity I had just lost) walked out of the room.

  • 50. Nicole Zim  |  September 19, 2009 at 11:06 am

    i laught so freakin hard ths is soo funni but its happened to me if a guy can fart out loud a women can queef thts how i see it so if ur bf or hussy gets embarssed and starts to leave say” i quess ur not a real man ”
    trust me works every time

  • 51. Trumpet  |  November 10, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    You are not alone. I have the exact same problem – no sex or yoga involved! The problem normally appears just around the time my periods begin including the 4-5 first days of the periods themselves. Sometimes I “fart” while walking, but mostly the “farts” happen when I’m standing up from a chair. I work in a quiet office, so I can definitely relate to your desire to shout out “It’s my vagina! It’s not my fault!” 🙂

    When I used to work in a restaurant and walk around all day I never had them! And as for losing weight to fix the problem – like one visitor mentions a doctor had advised – I myself am UNDERweight, so I’m guessing vaginal flatulence has nothing to do with how much you weigh 🙂

    So far I have not found a remedy to this most embarrassing medical wonder. Therefore my future plans involve a visit(s) to a gynecologist. I wish you, and others who suffer from this rarer form (not the usual kind that appears after sex -> that’s very common among women) all the best – – and if anyone has any info on how to prevent it, please share! 🙂

  • 52. girl  |  November 27, 2009 at 5:20 am

    I can’t say how glad I am to read these responses!!
    But I have a little question: did anyone had a “vaginal fart” during oral sex…? It happened to me and I was sooo embarassed!
    Am I the only one who had this? I’m so afraid that it will happen again, or worse that you get it during a visit to your gynaecologist perhaps…

  • 53. Someone  |  December 28, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    I’ve had it during oral sex and sex.. SO embarrassing. I’m only 15, I weigh 106lbs. I have to idea why this is happening? Its never happened with anyone before, just this guy. Why? What can I do to stop it? I need more advice than ‘just laugh about it’.

  • 54. Antonia  |  February 1, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    I am 55 years old. I weigh 20 lbs more than I would like (since an injury I sustained a year ago and have not been active but have been my ideal weight the rest of my life). I have 4 children that I gave birth to, I had a hysterectomy (20yrs ago), I had a D&C before that, I am an RN and have worked in the hospital and been on my feet for 25 years, I have belonged to exercise classes, I have had sex many times over the last 30 years (and had RARELY felt air released vaginally after intercourse WITHOUT any sound), but I NEVER had any audible sounds escape vaginally until recently. And ONLY in the morning after I get up out of bed and go to the bathroom for my first urination of the day. It happens whether I have had sex the night before or not. Sometimes it happens every day and sometimes once a week. Sometimes, weeks go by without sex and the air still excapes. Sometimes, I feel it during the day, without sound. My GYN says it is just trapped air and may be because of changes in the vaginal wall due to age and decreased elasticity. (But how does that apply to the 16 year olds & etc aged women) whose vaginal elasticity should be at it’s peak? And what about all those women in yoga class who have experienced this…if this is so common, why haven’t other women in the class had the same thing happen at the same time these women have been bending into odd shapes? And why haven’t the teachers addressed this at the beginning of the classes in order to decrease embarrassment before it happens? There seems to be as many different scenarios of vaginal flatulence as there are women in the world. And, besides wearing tampons when we don’t even use them any more, what else can be done about this? AND, men especially, AND the population at large, needs to be educated about this natural, normal body function that we have NO control over! ! Babies, burp, fart, stare, cry and speak out because they can’t help themselves. And everyone accepts this as natural. The world at large needs to know there are things that are beyond our control, and have to be accepted without apology. I, for one, (and many others who were brave enough to share their thoughts) plus billions of others are plagued with this affliction and need to have forgiveness at the very least, and research and an explanation a tthe very most! I hope science, or whatever, gets to the bottom of this soon. Of course, if it was a man’s problem, there would be explanation and treatment, just like erectile dysfunction, which is plastered on every other commercial on T.V. So, ladies, I guess it is up to us to figure this out! Good luck to all of us. In the meantime, educate those around you. And when they laugh at you, look straight into their faces and tell them, “It’s going to happen to you, or someone you know and/or love…hopefully, you will be more understanding to them, than you were to me”. Blessings to all!

  • 55. someone else  |  March 9, 2010 at 10:44 am

    I applaud you Antonia. I’m nearly 50 and this has started happening to me, occasionally after sex but we can laugh that off but I work in a quiet office with less than understanding company, they pretend not to hear then laugh like children amoungst themselves.

    Its so embaressing but Im working on reducing the severity. It happens to me mostly during my period so I am going to try tampons and try to walk about more during my break times, I can spend all day at my desk and when I get up to cross the office – there it goes again!

    So if anyone does come up with a cure dont forget to share it with us.

  • 56. Me  |  May 17, 2010 at 10:32 am

    I did a seriously loud one today in the office whilst speaking with 2 colleagues. I was devasted to say the very least, and just pretended as though nothing had happened. The trouble with these things is that once you pop out one, you know there’s more to come, and you daren’t move. It’s so, so embarrassing. On one occasion they just wouldn’t stop coming out, and with every step I took, I just released more and more. I was working with an older chap at the time, and I just kept apologising. It was awful 😦

  • 57. ecogeek  |  June 7, 2010 at 12:32 am

    This entry and subsequent responses had me nearly in tears with laughter. Thank god for internet searches to help us all feel less weird and isolated in all of the bizarre things our bodies do at the most inopportune moments.
    I’m 35 and several months out of a 13-year long relationship that had less and less sex as time went on. It had been ages since I had the queefing issue present itself. But now I’m with the most wonderful man except… he’s very well-endowed and we have ALOT of sex. We end up in the doggy-style position 9 times out of 10 and, of course, the minute we switch positions or I even move… PHHHBBBBTTTTT!!! I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to cry or just die the first time it happened but he was so cool about it that I got over myself pretty quickly and the hot lovin’ continued. I will admit a part of me curls up with embarrassment every time it happens but we both just fall out laughing and get on with it.
    There’s nothing to prevent it from happening so, like all things in life, laughing is the best way to get through it. If your partner can’t deal with it, they’re definitely not worth your trouble. I mean, if they freak out over a little air (or a lot as the case may be) how will they handle anything really big or serious or, god forbid, gross?
    As I’m typing this, I’m realizing that life is too short to spend so much time worrying about anything so, well, normal. Live, love, queef!

  • 58. yet another one  |  August 12, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    OMG, some of these entries had me rolling on the floor. I feel so much better now, knowing I’m not alone. But did anybody ever find a solution to this problem? I don’t care about the noise during sex, but it’s started happening when I stand up or sit down or sometimes even WALK, in my VERY small, silent office…ARGH. I want to crawl under the desk and die. It’s like somebody else said…I daren’t move, because I know there’s going to be even more noise 😦

    It seems to hit worse after I go walking at lunch, and of course I sit most of the rest of the day, which also seems to make it worse, since it rarely happens at home or anywhere I’m more up and down. Gaah!

  • 59. Right there with you!  |  August 13, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    Thank you all for sharing in the sisterhood! At least I am not alone, and thank you to #45, you are so very right. I started having this happen not long ago, but like many, it was during or after sex which was totaly understandable. But as of the last couple of months to my horror I have started haveing this problem close to the time of my period and it has nothing to do with sex. And yes, like others of you I work in an office, and have prayed no one heard. Again, thank you all for letting me know I am not alone, and as said before… Live, Love, and queef!

  • 60. "Everybody Queefs"  |  August 16, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    This thread is like three years old and I’m so glad I found it! The original post had me on the floor…I love it!!!! Oh man, I was embarrassed even GOOGLING the subject and I don’t really get embarrassed that easily! For me queefing doesn’t really happen during sex… in a weird position, yes, but I don’t let it bother me because there are weird sounds coming out of EVERYONE during sex, haha!!

    But at the office. Ughhhhhhhhh. This started happening within the last 2-3 years (I’m 30, but no kids). And it happens when I stand up and then walk. It’s the absolute worst. I’M NOT FARTING PEOPLE. So a trick I usually try is when I think I can feel something down there…or even when I don’t…before I get up I stretch my legs out under my desk so I’m the “equivalent” of standing (just still in my chair) and let the air pass through. It doesn’t make a sound…maybe just a whooshing that’s totally inaudible to others. I make sure it’s mostly out and then clench as much as I can as I get up. It’s quite the ordeal but way less embarrassing. Sometimes I even grab something that makes noise…papers, a bag, whatever, to muffle the impending ruckus. Seriously though…a guy farts getting up from his chair and then crack a huge joke and the other guys would give him a medal. This vag fart thing makes me avoid going back to my desk for like 20 minutes just so my coworkers might “forget” what happened. Yeah right!

  • 61. Quack, quack...  |  November 4, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    I loved reading these posts, definitely made me feel like I belong to a club or something. My new motto is “Live, Love, Queef!” (Thank you for that #48.) After my second son, less than 2 yrs ago, I’ve noticed a lot more noise coming from down below, especially during sex. My husband totally doesn’t mind and we both giggle a little when it happens. I could live the rest of my life that way, no problem.
    I’ve recently started a yoga training. Queefing in a silent room of 10-15 people, including men, now that is another story. Everything was fine, everything was dandy, then as I sat back to relax after some downward dogs, a very loud quack escaped from between my legs. “What the heck do I do?” I thought. After the blood rushed to my face and my pores rained buckets, I figured what the hey, it’s natural, it happens, and at least it isn’t smelly. It’s just air. About 5 minutes later, I stood up and a chorus of queefs began. I shrugged my shoulders and just kept on with my sun salutations. I think if we all go through life with a little more humanity we will be open to new things and more forgiving of things we might not understand. So, I am here to say to all you yogis and fellow females alike…queef away, let that air out, and feel liberated.

  • 62. Jessie  |  January 13, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    Thank you, thank you for the comic relief! I have been laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my face!

    I don’t mind a bit if I quack during sex, it just happens sometimes. But I have been doing yoga for a few months now, and tonight during class, for no apparent reason, I started quacking away! Of course it happened the first time two of my girlfriends came with me, and of course I have to go to a yoga class with four males in it, all of whom are under the age of 25. I just don’t know what to do to prevent it! I will try the tampon thing, but it would really suck to have to wear one every yoga class! I am off to do some more research, and if I find anything, I will post it here!
    Thanks for easing the embarrassment of such a taboo topic! 😀

  • 63. Megan  |  January 14, 2011 at 7:28 am

    Oh, my goodness.. that was a GREAT laugh! 🙂

    I do have a suggestion for Kegel exercises. This little device changed MANY things about my vagina & uterus. The Kegel Master 2000! Just like the thighmaster, but for the … well, vagina! 🙂 It helps with many things, but I used it for 1. better sex, and 2. to support my sagging uterus… So, maybe that will help you! GOOD LUCK!!!

  • 64. Audrey  |  July 8, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    I have a similar problem. I hate to admit but i can do this on command. I noticed it a few years ago. Im 16 years old and ive never had sex so i have no idea. One of my other friends can do it. But i dont know of anyone else who this happens to. And sometimes as you say it just happens… Being a woman sucks sometimes!! Lol

  • 65. T  |  October 2, 2011 at 8:26 am

    It’s happened to me a few times after sex, which I don’t really care about, but now it’s started to happen after sitting in a chair for awhile. The first time in public it happened after I got up to go to the bathroom after sitting in a hard chair for over an hour at a professional development day. Talk about embarrassing! I just pretended I didn’t hear it, but it just kept coming out as I walked! Today it happened to me after sitting for 45 minutes and getting up to pay for my oil change. It made the sound like 3 times as I walked up to pay! I don’t know what to do! It’s not like you can tell when it’s going to happen, and you can’t stop it when it’s started (unless maybe you clench your thighs you can quiet it a little). What can we do? Maybe trying to sit up perfectly straight will help from slouching and shifting so air won’t get trapped.

  • 66. allyd  |  December 9, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    My fiance LOVES when I queef. He says it feels really good when it happens, even though I tend to blush. Don’t be nervous girlies, guys do enough gross things to make up for this little sound.

  • 67. queef-queen  |  December 28, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    Ok, I’ve read through all the comments and haven’t seen any that match my predicament. I’ve queefed many times during sex, but I’m not embarrassed, we just move on. I usually just bear down before we have sex so that there’s no air trapped in my vag. That seems to solve the sex problem. I can even queef on demand, which I think is hilarious.

    I have never queefed during yoga and I have the Mirena IUD, so I rarely get periods.

    The only problem I have with queefing is at the office. If I slouch in my chair or sit weird, I’ll queef when I get up. Today it happened really loudly when everyone else was silent. They just kept working and didn’t blink an eye, but I’m sure they heard. I even talked to a colleague about it later, but told her I had farted because that was less embarrassing!

    I think one of the keys is to realize that your queef muscles, for lack of a better word, are connected to your core. Perhaps the best suggestion is to try to teach yourself how to queef on cue so that you can learn to feel how the muscles are connected. That, and sit with both feet firmly on the floor, back straight, knees at 90 degrees, and your spine aligned all the way to the top.

    Good lucky, fellow queefers!

  • 68. Anon  |  January 5, 2012 at 5:02 am

    I’m sixteen and it happened when I lost my virinity. My guy didn’t care, we just laughed about it and he said “my last girlfriend queefed in my face!” I haven’t had kids and am really skinny so I don’t think that makes a difference. I understand why its embarrassing,more afterwards than in the moment. I think the only thing us girls can do is laugh and blame our boyfriends for having big dicks. 😀

  • 69. anon  |  January 6, 2012 at 5:05 am

    this happened to me too 😦
    but after a lot of researching, LADIES.. im afraid to tell you that theres NOTHING we can about it 😦

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    What in the world are the 15 and 16 year olds here doing having sex? For crying out loud, where are your parents?? Close your legs and ENJOY YOUR YOUTH. You don’t need to be fucking at such a young age, your genitals aren’t even finished developing yet! You are still children, be children and leave the adult activities to ADULTS. There will be plenty of time later in life to engage in sex as an educated, MATURE, consenting adult. No 15 year old should be having sex. Absolutely ridiculous and an embarrassment to your parents.

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    I came across your post while searching “vagina farts while sleeping”. And I still haven’t found a solution or why this is happening. Ok so I’m NOT talking about queefing after having sex, that I completely understand! But I’m 34 Years old and have three children. This dosent happen to me much when I’m changing positions throughout the day, and I haven’t done yoga, no this happens after I sleep (and no sex before bed) and upon waking in the morning. Sometimes my vagina burps wake me up. This is driving me crazy! I’ve read all your incidents and ok so it’s not from yoga, I’m only 34 so I should still be elastic down there, Im not hugely over weight (well cushioned). And, I didn’t just have sex! I haven’t been to the gyno as I’m quite embarrassed. Why can be the reason this is waking me from my slumber? Help!


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  • 119. Fran Rawson  |  October 16, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Thank you, thank you for posting about this topic – a few years ago now but it’s absolutely my problem too. What a relief to know that I am not alone. Getting up from a chair, getting out of bed in the morning, in the bathroom, walking from my office to the bathroom – OMG – long and LOUD queefing. Like an angry duck! It is a nightmare. I am relieved that I am not currently working in a shared office otherwise I think I would resign immediately. Nothing to do with sex or yoga (although I think farting would be part of the landscape in a yoga class, don’t you?). Just everyday activities during which the most embarrassing fanny farts explode out of nowhere. I turned 51 this year and it has just started so I really think it has something to do with the aging process and hormonal changes maybe. I read the comment about the Kegel Master 2000 and I might look into this. Good luck to everyone else suffering the same problem.

  • 120. helovesyounot  |  December 15, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    To All,

    Honestly I would be way more embarassed if this happen to me during yoga (taking a class in college) but during sex seriously this is a normal thing you ladies should not be ashamed of! It is the mans fault if it happens anyway! Tell him to change his strokes! Also, there are lots of rumors going around that blame queefing during sex on the man having a large penis so if you really think It is making him feel uncomfortable tell hi m its cus he has a big dick! Idk if its just my generation but a lot of men see this as a turn on like “I hit her so hard or I gave it to her so good she queefed” . You definitely should not let this ruin your sex life.

    As for pussy farts not during sex or yoga… pretty normal too if they are happening constantly tho thats more bizarre but regardless you should probably change your diet!

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  • 123. Rachie  |  May 17, 2013 at 10:55 am

    I have this problem too! It happened to me before children, after children, fat, thin. There never seems to be an answer. I have been told kegels(done properly apparently most women do it wrong it should start to strenghthen the pelvic floor in 4 – 6 weeks so don’t give up), squats, core excercise like pilates, abs and strengthening the glutes and adductor(inside of the legs) muscle. (does anyone who has this problem do squats everyday or work out their core a lot???) My one friend suggested lube another suggested accupuncture. One website mentioned that people who have no zero lumbar curve also have weak pelvic floor muscle. Dr. Oz had a gyno talking about the first step is visiting your gynocologist and getting strength tested (on you tube) (not getting strength tested on youtube I mean the episode is on youtube). She mentioned kegels but said some women need to have reconstructive surgery. I went to my doctor after 7 years of crying about my sexual “disfunction” and she is sending me to a gyno. It was such a relief. I believe in my heart the more obsessed I become the more it happens. It has shattered my sexual confidence and made my libido drop to zero. However in recent weeks I looked at my life like a pie diagram and I said how much of my life is spent having sex and how much of my relationship with my husband is focused on sexual intimacy. When I realized that it was a small part of my life I realized that this issue shouldn’t define how I feel about myself as a wife or a woman. I hear things like “it sucks to be a woman” and feel so bad for the female gender. We should love our bodies even when we feel betrayed by them.

  • 124.  |  May 30, 2013 at 3:47 am

    Wow! After all I got a blog from where I know how to actually take valuable facts
    concerning my study and knowledge.

  • 125. Amy  |  June 4, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Thank you for talking about this! I wish there were more people out there assuring the queef is a positive and acceptable part of yoga.

  • 126. craig  |  May 23, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    hey girls, im a 20 year old guy and iv been with quite alot of girls and i can tel you its a very common thing. it depends on a few things, normally its because he has a larger penis and certain positions brings on this queefing.

    do you want my opinion on it? its hot! the extra vibrations it brings on feels good and i always think of it as the vaginas talking to me saying feedme! hahaha. honestly girls you are all over thinking it, i reckon because it sounds like a ass fart that you feel you have to be embarressed by it. but the two are completely different things but just sound the same.

    it really upsets me to see how embarressed and ashamed some girls are over this topic when its perfectly natural and happens to everybody at some point! its funny and definitly not a mood killer for most guys i can tell you, iv talked to some of my friends about this and we think its funny but mostly a hot thing.

  • 127. Doggy  |  July 30, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    I know it happens to me when I sit up

  • 128. Yari  |  November 18, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    This is so embarrassing. I’ve had this happen to me right after having sex wigh my (new at the time) bf. I was so embarrassed he literally had just finished and out came the pussy fart I wanted the floor to swallow me lol

  • 129. hope  |  January 14, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    This is a recent thing for me, it started last year and I’m only 26. I can’t understand why since I’ve never had kids and it happens more around the time I’m going to have my period and right after a sharp pain in my stomach. I have had ovarian cyst problems but I don’t know that that would contribute to the v-air. Oh and mine are super loud and sounds like regular stinky farts, but they don’t sink and I can’t hold them…it’s so embarrassing. I’m glad I’m not alone in this…I emailed my doctor let’s see what he says lol

  • 130. Dee  |  January 24, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Though this is very late and you may never read this, I have to say reading this gave me some relief (and no pun intended). Honestly, I’ve been getting this problem of queefing without sex or any sort of force of air naturally going up there. For you, it’s all positioning yourself while your sitting and for me, it’s when I’m sleeping. Unfortunately, I twist around and get comfortable when it gets around the last few hours of sleep but then I can’t when I realize 1) there’s a noise I’m hearing that I shouldn’t be hearing and 2) it’s definitely not a fart because I know how those go. I start making loud noises like yours too (maybe not quacking but definitely something otherworldly to me). I’ve queefed a few times before during and after sex so I know how those go, but these are a bit uncontrollable and embarrassing (especially since I’m a college student with a roommate who may have to experience this when she is up and laying on the opposite side of the room). I’ve found that if I put my legs in a “4” position (one straight and one bend in with the foot against the inner part of my thigh) or at least opened up more, I can let it happen and I can control it more with a blanket covering that area. This has only really happened when I wear nightgowns and nothing is masking this. For you, since it seems to happen while you’re out and about and at moments when you’re stationary, I’d say do some exercises in the morning when you wake up and at night before you go to bed. Go into the chair position and instead of keeping your legs together, spread them out and just bend a little forward. I mean, this may make you fart and queef but you’ll work the muscles and it may help get any excess air out at the time as well as strengthen some muscles and make you feel better. I haven’t tried this for myself but with you it may help. Hopefully this really does give you some relief (the pun was intended this time on both ends) and you feel better!

  • 131. CanIbeunknown?  |  April 22, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    I needed to read this post today as my body decided to make such a sound (queef/vart) unexpectedly and no way to control it! And it did it two times during a 2 min conversation as I’m standing talking to someone in the office today, who was standing 2 ft away from me and there could be no mistake about the sound! I was mortified! So embarrassed. Didn’t know what to do except to Rub my tummy pretending it was my stomach growling. Sigh. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

  • 132. Jan Sam  |  November 5, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    Yes – terrible problem as I get closer to menopause. The four or five days before my period, just no control and no answer. My doctor had never heard of this issue, but it must be common and guessing hormonal. The internet is wonderful because we can write about issues openly.

    • 133. Em  |  October 7, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      This is me all over I wonder if it’s sonething to do with menopause

  • 134. Sky  |  November 5, 2016 at 12:15 am

    I rarely have this problem when I am having sex. But, sometimes, when I stand up from a sitting position or from laying down, especially now that I am in my mid-30s. I have noticed it seems to happen more when I have more cervical mucus and also if I have been sitting awhile. Like if I have been sitting long enough or in a position where things start to feel a little numb/tingly down there. Then it happens more. It does not happen much under other conditions. So, maybe, if it is happening at other times than sex, it is related to tightness (the mucus or the numbness would compromise this). Maybe not keeping them in, but preventing the air from coming in at all. That would explain while childbirth and aging can make them more common. So, maybe serious kegals are needed?

    • 135. Tracy Wog  |  November 5, 2016 at 1:23 am



  • 136. Cris  |  January 6, 2017 at 3:02 am

    Lol quack!! Girl your not alone

  • 137. Emily  |  February 14, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    This was one of the most hilarious things I have ever read! Thank you for sharing. I too have queefing issues before my period. Started to happen more frequently after baby #3. Ugh! I do wish beano would help but I guess there “be no” cure for this queefing fiasco.

  • 138. Zoe Strange  |  May 29, 2017 at 11:14 pm

    Today……I got up in a staff meeting when all was quiet and queefed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So so embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the read……at the end of the day we need to laugh about it!!!!!!! : ))

  • 139. Commander In Queef  |  September 16, 2017 at 6:31 am

    I read this a loud to my wife and she damn near died of laughter. Thank you for the pleasant evening activity. I will return for part II.

    We have also changed our gamertag to The Commander In Queef. I must thank you.

  • 140. Em  |  October 7, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    I don’t understand within the last 6 MT it happens the whole time I’m on my period and coming off. I’m a stylist and I can be washing blow drying cutting hair and here it comes. For most part I can stop it by squeezing but a lot it still comes. I haven’t had sex frequently it’s not from that. I’ve had 3 kids oldest 8 but this is ridiculous seriously! So embarrassing


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